Author Archives: Sheri

All I really want…

Posted on by
2

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking, and taking calls, about what moms really want for Mother’s Day. The wants included: to go to the bathroom by myself, sleep, for my daughters to not fight for the day, a vacation, for my kids to acknowledge the day without being told, and more. I was struck by a very young sounding mom who called in saying it was her first Mother’s Day, that her baby had been born in December. She had seen a necklace with keys on it that spelled out Mom, and it cost $15; that was what she wanted. The morning show host asked, “What’s your…ah…what’s the name of the baby’s dad?” She said “Colin” and then host, on air, told Colin to get that necklace for her. The young mom said, “He probably won’t.”

Awkward.

Mother’s Day is supposed to be a feel good day, and for many of us it is. But I am more and more aware that Mother’s Day can also be an awkward, sometimes hurtful kind of day. There are women who are acutely aware of their moms absence if she has passed away, and on Mother’s Day their hearts long for her voice and her touch. There are women estranged from their moms – who just wish and pray it were different. There are women who have a hard time picking out cards for their moms because all the lovey, You’re the Best cards just really don’t apply. There are the moms whose family doesn’t even get her a card or make her feel special in any way.

Then there is the young mom who just wants a $15 necklace with the word Mom on it. I wonder if what she wants is to just feel acknowledged – in her new role – as a Mom. There is the mom of 13 and 18 year old girls who longs to have them – on their own – let her know they appreciate her. I think that’s what moms really want on Mother’s Day, to know that what they are doing is noticed, and matters.

If you know of a mom who could use an I’ve noticed you, What you’re doing matters, I’m proud of you, You’re doing a good job, kind of comment or note, consider giving that to her this Mother’s Day. It may be all she really wants, or even needs, to elevate her spirit, spurring her on to keep doing what she’s doing.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing moms who read this blog! What you do every single day matters – you can be reminded of that here.

 

Like!
0

So Many Words

Posted on by
Reply

It has been said we women use about 20,000 words as well as five tones of voice in any given day. That’s a lot of words, girls! Now granted, some of them are repeats, as in “I said …”  (insert tone).

When there is an abundance of anything it’s easy to think the value is less, but….read the rest over here!

Like!
0

Giving up vs. Surrender

Posted on by
Reply

There are two things that come pretty naturally to me – trying to control and simply giving up. There is one thing that is better, but harder for me to get to, and that is surrender.

It’s been a little over six months since Mister was placed in the program that quite honestly was is his last, best and most hopeful chance to get some things worked out, change some thinking patterns, and find healing and renewal. But he hasn’t responded in the way we had hoped and prayed that he would. He is responding in very old, familiar and unhealthy and ways.

About a month ago, after FINALLY being on the cusp of some forward movement in the  program, he was involved in something very serious, something that moved him backwards in a big way. As I listened to what happened, I felt a little numb. I prayed. I cried. I talked it out with a very small circle and then I prayed some more.

There was a meeting that was to take place a few days after the incident and I was hopeful that a humble and contrite Mister would show up at that meeting. I was hopeful that this was his rock bottom and that he would begin to look up. I prayed. I asked others to pray. I even fasted for the first time ever in my life. I begged God (again) to life the weight, remove the scales, bring the light. Then I waited for the call that would bring me news of the meeting.

The meeting didn’t go well. In fact, in the weeks that have followed, there have been more concerns, behaviors and attitudes.

It’s just so frustrating. And it makes me sad. A new and positive life awaits this boy who has been through so much, but it’s just so hard for this one to step into the promised land. As soon as he sees that it might be within reach, he turns and runs for Egypt, shooting darts at those who pursue him.

There have been whispers in my head that say:
He’ll never change.
It’s been seven years, really, he’s never going to change.
Just. give. up.

Seven years ago I believed that love, the right environment, prayer, support and community would be enough to buff out what this boy has been through. It wasn’t. We added counseling, mentors, more prayer, church camps, systems, structure, and sports. It still wasn’t enough. And now this, a program away from our family, but run by people who are near to our family – sometimes things happen that we cannot explain except to say, “God has provided.” Yet, six months and one week into this program, his actions and responses reflect that his heart is still hard.

My heart has been going through its own process since “the incident”. I’ve been discouraged, disheartened, mad at God for not swooping down and shoving his Holy Spirit into this child! (I know, I know, God doesn’t shove anything on anybody, so there you see reflected my desire for control!) I’ve been weary in the seven year wait for the heart and mind of our dearly loved Mister to be softened and turned. I’ve been tempted by the whisper that yearns for me to believe that he will never change.

But I’ve been reminded that seven years, though terribly long for us (especially in our instant society), is not 40 years (desert) or 400 years (Egypt). I’ve quieted the lie that says he will never change, with the truth that he absolutely can change. I’ve come to believe, with all that I am, that God will do something amazing during Mister’s time in the program. Here’s why I believe that – because it doesn’t make sense. I don’t see how, I don’t see when.

I have completely surrendered Mister to God. For seven years, with many friends, family and church community help, we have carried the mat, we have torn off the roof, and now, I have laid my portion of the mat down before the healer.

So my reply to the lies whispered in the darkness…
He will.
I know, he will.
I won’t.

 

Like!
3

Getting Older is a Pain

Posted on by
Reply

After not going to my family doctor for six years, I thought it was time to stop in and say hello. Did you know if you haven’t been to the doctor for six years they make you fill out new patient paperwork? They also give you an extra long appointment time so the doctor can get to know you – or in my case get reacquainted. (Yes, I do see my OB/GYN for my yearly pap and mammogram, and although that appointment is very physical, it’s not a physical, so off to my doctor I finally went.)

I was grateful for the extra “new patient” time, as I had so much to catch him up on! There was the pain in my foot, my knee, my shoulder and even my neck. He asked if I was experiencing any menopause symptoms, so I told him about the power surges as well as how I’m also having a hard time losing weight, but no problems gaining it. (I may have suggested he check my thyroid – you know, just in case it’s that and not the ice-cream runs.)

Due to tendinitis in my shoulder and plantar fasciitis in my foot, exercise is going to be tricky over the next several months. I need to be on an anti-inflammatory and take it easy on that shoulder and foot. So today I ordered this to ensure that my activity level doesn’t suffer. Being told I can’t run or lift any weights for 3 – 6 months quite honestly made me a little giddy!  (‘So to be clear, you are medically ordering me to not run or lift weights?!’ I had to hold myself back from hugging him!)

Getting older is a pain…but I’m grateful to be getting older. When I was younger I would have taken the medication given and kept moving. This time I asked what else I could do to help my body age as well as possible. He gave me some printouts of some exercises I could do that would help my back (which put me in the hospital last July), as well as my foot. I told him he would find me to be more compliant in my late forties than I was in my late thirties.

He also told me smaller portions might help with the weight gain. Well, now he knows why I only come in every 6 years! I’m just kidding. Well, he really did say that, but I do really like my doctor a lot and I promised not to wait six years to see him again. We’ll see what the labs say about that thyroid.

 

Like!
0