The Team

I believe being on the team, in the band or part of the club is important in school – especially in high school. Yesterday I saw another reason our kids’ involvement can be vital.

Through football and wrestling, Zach has come to know Landon pretty well. Landon lost his dad to cancer last Monday. I cannot imagine. The grief my son felt on behalf of his friend was apparent. He immediately did what he could to let Landon know he was there for him.

Yesterday was the funeral. It was something to see so many students sitting as a group in the front of the church. The support these kids showed was a sign of community, care, friendship and love. On one side of the church, the grief of the family penetrated the entire room. On the other side of the church the quiet support of the kids made a statement no one could miss. We are here for you.

One of the football coaches spoke about the first time he met the father, Tim. Tim had introduced himself and when the coach mentioned what a hard worker Landon was, Tim asked if the coaches would also help him watch his grades. Instant community, a village mentality, let’s help each other, all of this was there. A support team created for the family as well as the son.

The coach also spoke about the night the father took him aside after a game and told him about the cancer. He and his wife were going to tell their three kids that evening and wanted the coaches to know. The father was asking the coach to look out for his son, he was in for some rough times in the next days. At one point he also told the coach, I may not be around for Landon’s senior year, watch out for him for me.
Because the son was a part of a team, the father had a team to tap and the assurance that someone had his back.
Being a part of the team, band or club is important, it gives our kids a place to belong and connect. It creates accountability, character, discipline and more. It also creates a circle, which can close in tight when needed. It grants influence and assistance to other adults who can be there when we cannot.

Rest in peace Tim Hughes. The team has stepped up to the line.

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Chosen

I’m starting with the ending today ~ Erin made the school basketball team yesterday! By itself this is great and exciting news, but when I add the background it becomes sweeter.

Last year ~ Erin discovered she really liked volleyball and wanted to try out for the school team. She practiced in the backyard and got a college player to coach her one on one. She felt confident…but…she didn’t make the team. She was devastated, especially because many of her friends had made the team and she could feel the separation coming. I remember when she came home after try-outs; due to her confidence we were excited to hear her news, but when she saw Courtney standing at the door she collapsed into her arms sobbing.

Soon it was basketball season. Erin has been playing basketball since kindergarten. She has gone to summer basketball camp since 3rd grade. It was a no brainer that she would try out for the school team, but…she didn’t make it. It was devastating…she cried for days. She talked to God about it for months.

She ran with the cross country runners this past summer. She joined the team when school started and decided that would be her fall sport, she wasn’t even going to try out for volleyball this year. I was proud of her decision because she seemed confident and happy in this new sport.

As basketball season loomed on the horizon I asked her thoughts on trying out for the team again. Her response surprised me. On one hand she was nervous to try out again, but she said,
“I really want to wear a team uniform and represent my school.”
“But you do wear the team uniform, for cross country, and you do represent your school.” I relied.
“Yeah,” she said, “but I wasn’t chosen for cross country. I want someone to tell me I’m good enough to be on the team.”

Ahhhh. Right, chosen.
We want to be chosen, don’t we?
Good enough. Right.
We want to be good enough, don’t we?

When she came in the door last night her big brother high-fived her and said something about being the “first Carlstrom to make a team!” My husband looked at him and reminded him he is on the football team. He said, yeah, but I didn’t make the football team.

Oh. Right. Back to being chosen. Hmmmmm…..
We do want to be chosen don’t we?
I will write more about that tomorrow…..
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