Category Archives: worship

This is Faith…

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Last Sunday I experienced faith in church. Let me explain…

On our worship team this past Sunday was a mom who had her third baby seven months ago. Seven months ago she also lost the twin that was her fourth baby.  But her healing, comfort, and even joy have been restored and she led with a hand in the air in worship. It felt holy to me to see the restoration work of the LORD.

Also on Sunday during one of the worship songs, our pastor’s daughter – who was in front of us – appeared to be dancing. It was as if she couldn’t stand still – the joy and worship was coming right out of her feet! It was amazing to experience this because her dad is in the battle of his life – for his life. (See below for links) It was pure joy to see this and is living proof to me of God’s providence and light even in the midst of darkness.

What I saw in these two women on Sunday was:

What I saw was faith.

I do not have it within myself to restore myself.
I can create happiness, but my joy comes from the Lord.
I love many things, but I worship the LORD.
I cannot see Him.
I cannot touch Him.
Sometimes I don’t even feel Him,
but I have faith in Him.

These two women would have every worldly reason to sit down, hands in lap, even turn from God….in anger, from agony, in disbelief, but they don’t. They have faith in what is unseen. Thank you Carrie and Ashley for leading me to the goodness that is God.

(I wrote something down that Pastor Stan said years ago…You may not see His hand, but your gonna have to trust His heart. That is faith. Amen, Pastor Stan, Amen.)

Click for: Face Down & Getting Up to Follow

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Getting Up to Follow

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When I woke up the morning after hearing the pathology report of Stan’s (our pastor) brain tumor, I thought I would feel better. I didn’t. But I knew I was going to pray with some others that morning and there was hope in that. We read scripture, sang worship songs, prayed and talked. This news is too heavy to carry alone; it weighs me down and fogs me up, I have to give it Jesus and trust in the love of the Father. I had a great need to worship with my church family this morning, and I know I need to be led through this.

Fortunately, Stan Buck, the founding and lead pastor of our church, is leading still, and its some of his most powerful leadership. He trusted God immediately and completely with the news of the tumor. On May 31, he posted this on his Facebook page:

My soul is finding rest, my body is healing! Feeling very good, sensing a deeper renewal coming in my body, mind & Spirit! This surgery surprised me – but this season of healing is allowing me to go deeper and grow!Embracing this weakness, becoming stronger by grace! (2 Corinthians 12:9 I’m grateful – prayed for – finding a peace in being made more whole in being who God has created me!

One of our other pastors has met with Stan and reports back that Stan keeps saying that nothing defines him except for this: he is a Bondservant of Jesus Christ. (You can click below to read more about that term.)

On his CaringBridge web page the other day, his wife wrote that Stan is feeling physically good (which is amazing, considering he just had brain surgery) and that he is enjoying playing the piano and guitar and singing songs to the Lord. Singing songs to the Lord. What a leader. The power of his leadership today is undeniable. The places he is taking us, without even talking with us (he is fasting from email, texting and Facebook), is deeper than I have been. He is reminding me of David, assaulted yet singing songs to the Lord.

Stan has been our pastor, our friend, our leader, my boss (while I worked on staff for four years), and my mentor in many ways. He has been one to re-direct me as well as tell me that he is proud of me, so this is personal. The day Stan received the pathology report, he wrote down a few words for his daughter to post on CaringBridge, it ended with this: My soul finds rest in God. (Psalm 62).

So I guess mine will too. Lead on teacher, we are following.

Bondservant        Previous Post: Face Down

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Mourning into Dancing….

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I expected to have a rough time when our daughter left for college, but am finding that I am doing pretty well with the adjustment. However, Sunday mornings catch me off guard. The first Sunday morning tears streamed down my face the entire time of worship and prayer. Which was weird because I had felt fine as I walked into church. Then the next Sunday I made it through worship but tears resumed their trail down my face while our pastor prayed. Hmmmm…What is going on? I wondered.

Then I realized that for the last fifteen years, Sunday mornings have been a time for our family to all be in one place, worshipping with the same music, agreeing in prayer over the same prayers, hearing the same message and then sharing thoughts over lunch. One place…all of us. Almost every single Sunday. Now, one was missing.

Courtney was home the next two Sundays so those Sundays felt “normal”. Then she was back on campus this past Sunday. The worship song was Our God is Greater by Chris Tomlin. When we sing this song I most often think of our adopted son and am reminded that God is greater than any past or present force that is against him, and I claim these words as truth and victory.

Today as I was thinking of him, my mind suddenly shifted to Courtney and then I could not stop smiling as I was quickly filled with joy! I felt in that moment that she was in church somewhere and that she was indeed worshipping God along with us. Maybe not with the same song, and there would be different prayers, as well as a different message. But our God was greater than any distance, greater than any force that could separate her from 15 years of building that relationship with Him.

I found out later that afternoon that she indeed was at a church,
worshipping at the same time. Seriously, our God is awesome.

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